DECISION: Unwavering Commitment to Greatness – The Keys to Life Mastery in Martial Arts #5
I remember talking to one of my teachers once about the traits of a master leader. And while we discuss many topics, characteristics, and themes: Attitudinal qualities like “caring,” “trust,” “being a role model”; and skills such as “management”, “study”, etc. – ‘the’ trait that lay in the center, or formed the basis of all these others was: Decision making: the simple ability to make a decision.
While all other traits were and are important in the overall character of a leader, at the core of it all is the will and, yes, the “decision” to be or do those other things.
For example, we cannot and generally will not “care” about something until we “decide” that we do. Taking this to the maximum, we will not be a “loving” person until we decide to be. This is true for everything.
It’s fun, you know. I have been an avid student of human nature for a long time. I have studied how human beings cling to ideas, beliefs and concepts, and how we run with them. However, the one thing most people don’t do is check the integrity of their ideas against each other. You know what I mean? Most of us never stop to see if our “beliefs” and habitual patterns “match” with each other or not.
Most of the time, under close examination, things tend to break down. A belief is not consistent, it contradicts another belief about the same “type” of thing but from a different perspective.
Here is an example. The staff and I constantly joke about how many people come to WCI because they are interested in learning martial arts. How do we know this? Not necessarily because they told us (a lot of people tell us they’re interested, especially after you mention you’re studying martial arts, right?) We know because they actually answered the phone or visited the academy. for information.
But, once here, we notice that their behavior, their actions and responses, reflect those that arise for many when approached by a salesperson in a store.
It’s not funny? These people are interested in learning martial arts, but…
… They are afraid that we will “sell” them martial arts lessons!
This happens all the time. To each and every one of us. It may not be about sales or martial arts, but it happens anyway.
What does this have to do with martial arts, a black belt, dominance, or warrior status? Thanks for asking. Otherwise, this article is going nowhere.
The ability to make a decision is at the center of all this confusion. It is also at the heart of success and dominance. It is the same as theta defines a leader.
You see, life, every moment, is made up of choices. And, as author Richard Bach quoted in his book ‘Illusions’, “we design our lives through the power of our choices.” And it is our decisions, or lack thereof, that define us in the eyes of others. Indeed, one could say, and the great HA Hopf has said, that we teach others how to act on decision. We teach our children, our students, even those who are thinking of associating with us, who we are and how we approach life and that if they want to be “like” us, they must make decisions like us.
There are actually three types of decisions to be made in any given situation, be it goal setting, planning, or problem solving. They are:
1) Do it! You decide in favor of an action.
2) Don’t do it! You decide against the action.
3) Don’t decide! You avoid making a choice or decision altogether.
Yes, choosing “no” to make a decision IS a decision, a choice! Because what you’re really saying is:
1) I don’t care one way or the other which way this goes or what we do. In this case, he wouldn’t complain after decisions made by others (if he was honest).
2) I am afraid to commit to something because I am afraid of failure, success or a hundred other things. So what if your decision turns out to be wrong or just a bad choice? Make another! After all, THAT is what leaders do!
3) I don’t want to have to think about this now, so I’ll postpone the decision.
The latter is what most people do regarding their goals, including going to Japan. Why else would they put off going for three years? Money? I do not think so. And why not? Because everyone who has told me that they were going to Japan, for example, last year, has no more money saved for the trip than when they supposedly set the goal for the first time.
I remember when my teachers started forcing me to stand up and make decisions. It was uncomfortable in many cases and terrifying in others. But developing this powerful ability has literally changed my life. And it will be yours too.
Imagine: actually attaching people to you who are most helpful to you and your life BECAUSE you are decisive. Why? Because decisive people are confident, reliable, and trustworthy, they take risks (another important key to success and dominance), and they make people feel comfortable and safe.
Your ability to make confident decisions, even with little support or help from others, will set you apart from everyone else who has “decided” on a mediocre, passive, everyday existence. However, you will be in good company because you will have risen to the level of the Abraham Lincolns, the Walt Disneys, the Madame Currys and so many others who made their own path in life, with decision, with confidence…
…one option at a time!
