Jack Hammond: Chew gum! Your breath smells like my grandmother’s feet.
– The Chase (1994)
In the last article I introduced the concept of Chase. This is the mental model that we will use as the basis of the work that I will guide you through for the next three weeks. We will use it to simplify the field of love, sometimes confusing, complex and overwhelming.
In this article, I’ll continue the work I started last time by giving you a few more key ways that each of you male samurai can use the model to make things easier for you, as well as the mistakes to avoid.
The Chase is a game. It’s not serious. That’s one of the biggest mistakes guys make. But not being serious is not the same as being silly. Second biggest mistake.
Think of a professional athlete. You play it honestly and with dignity. Play hard. Never forget that it is a game. But play to win and you will get the best results.
As I said last time, sometimes the best teachers are the children, because they don’t complicate things too much. So, let’s go back to the simple tag game in our imaginations and look at five more ways to avoid cheating and get the most out of the game.
Who is “that” changes. Every game and every relationship at its root is the game of catching. You perform a task. Then you change and do the opposite. You catch. Then you throw. You are “it”. Then you are not “that”. You speak, then you listen. You give and then you take. Chase and then they chase you. This is part of the fun. Learn to enjoy both roles. Get good at both.
Win or lose, this is how it plays. Children who have the most fun agree to lose. And don’t make a big deal out of it when they win. Okay, these kids are weird. But that doesn’t change the fact that they have more fun. You get it. And you can too.
Play for experience. Play to test yourself. Play to see what you are made of and how good you can be. Try to win, but don’t get obsessed with winning. Winning is as much a test as anything else. It tells you how hard you are working, but no … it can never tell you who you are. Only you can do that.
Easy is not fun. But it is not impossible either. Exceptional boys play for challenge. A girl who stretches them as a person. Who sees through his shit. A girl who is on her own adventure. But the exceptional guy doesn’t have time for the princess who makes him take off his stinky shoes outside and wash his feet before they can watch Walking Dead together.
Vicki Vallencourt: Well, men are supposed to have stinky feet.
– The boy from the water (1998)
The goal is a good game. Which is a good experience for everyone. The exceptional man lives his values and his priorities in each game. They are a path that he knows is a privilege to follow. He knows that they will serve him and the lucky ones who share his adventure with him.
Can you say the same? If not, what is stopping you?