When a brother decides to get married

After spending most of your childhood with your brother and having a good relationship, isn’t it natural that you want to marry someone like him or her? Many adults choose their partners with the same name. The same last name. The same age, the same height, the same smile, the same emotions and the same physical attributes. After all, your spouse becomes your adult companion and playmate.

Even the number of sisters and brothers you have can determine how many children you and your spouse intend to have, as well as when.

Sibling relationships affect marriage, just as marriage affects sibling relationships. The influences are more numerous and powerful than most people realize, from the initial events of getting married to the events during the marriage, and often even the aftermath of getting divorced.

Your siblings’ expectations of your spouse can create drama in your family. If your sisters and brothers don’t approve or appreciate the partner you’ve chosen, you may be feeling torn. You might place more importance on the opinions of your siblings than you would like to admit. The situation is even more difficult if your parents also disapprove.

Consequently, when your brother or sister marries, you experience an abrupt and often substantial change in the nature of your previous relationship. You may even experience the loss of companionship. Your siblings’ availability will be more limited and less spontaneous than it used to be. You will definitely lose the degree of interaction that you once shared.

If one sibling marries and leaves the other adult sibling at home, it can cause jealousy and rivalry. There may also be the loss of a role, such as protector, controller or the one who knows the most.

Wedding is different than marriage, the roles of the players make the difference like the bridesmaid or the best man. After the wedding, hopefully everything will go back to normal and everyone will know their place. Hopefully, his siblings will accept this spouse as an addition to the family and not a threat.

Some theorize that the closer your marital relationship with your spouse mirrors the type of relationships you had with your siblings, the more likely the marriage will be happy and successful. I tend to agree.

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