Why does my ex say he loves me but doesn’t want to get back together?
Does your ex boyfriend give you mixed signals? Does he call you one day saying he still has feelings for you, but he ignores you the next day when you call him back?
Does your ex keep telling you that he loves you, even though you’re broken up? And yet, every time you suggest getting back together with him, does he suddenly run in the opposite direction?
Your situation is much more common than you think. At this time, your ex boyfriend may appear or act emotionally conflicted around you. He’ll tell you that he’s confused, or that he wants alone time, or that he “needs some space” to work things out. In reality, however, something very, very different is going on. What if you want to get your ex back? You need to recognize exactly what he is.
Reasons why your ex still loves you after breaking up
Relationships are filled with deeply held feelings. The emotional ties you felt for your boyfriend ran deep, and they ran deep for him, too. Because of this, your ex will not let you go all at once. It’s much easier for him to let you go little by little, because he still has residual feelings for you.
So yes, your ex boyfriend may still have a crush on you, even after you break up. This would be why he still calls you, texts you, or fills up your email inbox on a daily basis. Yet at the same time, he’s still not ready to get back together. Keep pushing him for a reconciliation, and you may find your ex drifting further and further away.
This is where you try to walk that fine line… you try to keep that delicate balance between keeping in touch with your ex boyfriend without scaring him off. What you don’t realize, though, is that you’re really not doing yourself any favors here. And in most cases, you’re actually prolonging the amount of time you and your boyfriend will be apart.
Why your ex doesn’t want to get back together right now
This game of cat and mouse that your ex is playing with you right now is designed to do one thing: keep you hanging around. Your boyfriend wants to have his cake and eat it too: he’d like you to stick around and wait for him while he dates and dates other people, and otherwise he’s enjoying being single again.
That’s why your ex says he loves you, it’s because he does, but also because he wants you to have HOPE. Idealistically, he would love for you to stand by as his backup plan, in case he can’t find another girlfriend who is better. And if he does? Suddenly he doesn’t love you as much anymore, or he stops calling you altogether. That’s when he’ll tell you that his feelings ‘just aren’t the same’, and that’s when you’ll lose your ex forever. All because you sat around passively dealing with your breakup instead of being proactive about it.
What to do when your ex boyfriend says he loves you
When your ex starts telling you how much he still cares about you, that’s the exact moment you need to walk away. The more he insists on revealing his true feelings, the more you need to walk away and keep some distance between you and your ex-lover.
This is not because you are gaming, it is actually quite the opposite. You’re letting your boyfriend know that he can’t have it both ways: he can’t have the friendship and companionship of having you around while he maintains the freedom of being single. Don’t give him the reassurance that you still love him while he’s playing the field, or he won’t commit to you 100%.
Tell your ex that you do love him, but that you can’t continue living a half-relationship. Let him know that it’s better if you both broke up, because you can’t keep hearing how much he loves you and he still doesn’t want to get back together.
Do this and you will force your ex boyfriend to make a decision. You are making him choose to have all of you or not to have any of you. And while this may sound harsh, and can it be a little scary? It’s actually the only thing that will make your ex realize that he wants you back, instead of risking losing you to someone else.
