Why did he guide me and then disappear?
A man often sends us these signs that he’s into us right from the start of dating. He calls, sets dates ahead of time, texts and stays in touch. You start to get excited and let your guard down. You feel good about this, after all, dating gurus say to watch a man’s actions and not his words, right? So what happens here? Why are you left wondering why he disappeared without a clue?
It is important to realize that men often live in the moment. Sure they have goals, but not right now. They may give you gifts at first, polite phone calls, and want to spend time with you. These things are great and I hope they last, but that’s not always the case. The man has a goal at the moment of meeting you. His goal is to woo and conquer you. This doesn’t always translate to him wanting a commitment.
The man you felt cheated on you and disappeared may very well want a relationship. He didn’t necessarily lie to you when he told you this. He really wants a relationship, he just doesn’t know if he wants it with you or right now. Have you ever started dating a guy and really liked him at first only to spend a few weeks or even months and decide he’s not really the guy for you? You still want a relationship, you just realize it’s not with him. You may have even told him that a relationship is what you wanted. Should you be tarred and feathered for changing your mind?
If you don’t think men are motivated to win, think again. Watch them in a group watching a ball game or a race or another sport and you decide. When they meet a girl who catches her interest, her goal at the moment is to win her over. At first, you may enjoy this winning behavior, but the real test comes later.
If you have been dating for a while and your efforts remain the same or increase, you may have found a keeper. If, on the other hand, you notice your efforts starting to wane, chances are you won’t in the long run. Hopefully, you won’t be so head over heels in love at this point that you’ll have a hard time letting him go or start making excuses for him. Hopefully, you won’t keep trying to hold on and hope he changes his mind or you’re left scratching your head wondering why he disappeared.
