The temporary truth is not the truth: the consequences
Do you know the difference between temporal truth and real truth?
Today we are experiencing a great conflict because many people feel that if they believe in something, it is true. So you think that there are only 325 days in the year, that everyone deserves an education, that all older people are stupid, that these are true. Have you ever disagreed with your spouse, employee, or client? Let me describe the conversation. You tried to convince them that they were wrong and that you were right. They tried to convince you that they were right and you were wrong. How am I doing? The problem is that the truth evolves. I’m not implying that the Temporal Truth is right or wrong, just that many things are only true until their replacement truth appears.
Here is an example. For hundreds of years, if you had a disease, they first cut you open and let you bleed until you were cured – the truth about medicine. Next treatment: they gave you pills. These were followed by radiation, chemotherapy, and other invasive treatments. Continue – Next, they sent you to a therapist. For years, people believed that current treatments were the best or even the only treatment available.
But, in time, each was replaced by a new and supposedly better one, now the new Temporal Truth. The real truth does not change.
Here’s a simple one: For hundreds of years people believed the world was flat, temporary truth (and based on what: current beliefs based not on facts but on hearsay). So someone found out that, wow, the world is not flat, so it must be round, an updated version of the current perceived truth that everyone now embraces.
What is temporal truth? Anything that is changing, evolving, growing, fading, or in the past or future. What is the real truth? Is gravity the truth? The consequences are the truth. Death is the truth.
Let’s be clear: opinions are neither true nor reality. I bet if you asked 50 million people in the US what their opinion is on (whatever, pick a topic), you would get at least 25 million different responses. So just because something is your opinion based on your experience, your education, your personality, your (things) it’s still just your opinion. You have a right to it, but here’s the interesting thing: I have a right to my opinion on the same topic (even if it is different from yours).
There is a lot of discord in the world today and why? Because most people believe that their opinion is or should be the truth (everyone’s truth): what is correct and what the rest of us should believe just because you believe it. If this concept were true; the world is still flat, we never went to the moon, the average life expectancy in the US is 35 years and God is a myth, do I need to continue?
The truth is not the truth because you or I believe it or think it should be true. The truth is based on facts and evidence and not opinions, please hear me FACTS. If there are no facts to support something, it is just an opinion.
Did you ever yell at the television while listening to the ravings of some political idiot? Have you ever felt the stress of a relationship filled with tension or frustration? I could go on to examples like these, but the question is: is there a common cause or contributor to each or every one of these situations, struggles, or life outcomes?
One of my favorite questions I ask people when they start to tell me (something) is true. Done – “How do you know? What evidence or true facts is this based on?” Give it a try the next time someone gives you their opinion on something and tries to convince you that they are right and you are wrong. It’s really fun.
After one of my speeches or seminars, I have been approached more than my fair share of people to share their disagreements and / or opinions about what I talked about and how they felt I was wrong or just out of touch, especially when it was all. technology related. I am not joking here, my opinion, no matter what it is, was wrong. I wonder if the fax machine will ever become obsolete. Over the years, I have spent a great deal of time and research trying to identify the unique circumstances that contributed to these types of reactions, responses, or behaviors when dealing with others, either in person or from a distance. I finally resolved.
The biggest problem contributing to poor communication, increased conflict, negative relationships, ineffective employee performance, deteriorating health, poor decisions, loss of business, ineffective management, and decreased organizational success (do I need to continue? ) – is simple but not complicated. In a word, it is “reality or truth” and not what was true, but what people wanted you to believe to be true. When you deal with the truth, you have a better percentage of better results than when you deal with
Temporary truths or lies.
Let me explain. We all have opinions, values, attitudes, biases, and beliefs that are based on personal experience, parenting, conditioning, and education. When mixed with a person’s mindset, they create their personal sense of reality; what is, what is right, what is wrong, what needs to change, etc. The problem gets even worse when people start to believe that their sense of reality (the above things and more) is THE “reality”, in other words, all other points of view, opinions, attitudes, beliefs, etc. they are the ones who disagree with it are incorrect, obsolete, stupid, unnecessary or invalid because they are different from yours or defy yours.
Imagine for a minute the last conflict you had with an employee, spouse, or customer.
– I will guarantee that your source was your attempt to validate your own opinion (s) and invalidate that of the other person. Due to current trends in political correctness, social media, the Selfie generation, we are very rapidly losing the ability to develop meaningful relationships based on respectful acceptance of different opinions, values, beliefs, etc. – both business and personal – which are based on openness, understanding, tolerance and respect.
So what is the answer? Well, there are some things that we all need to understand if we are to deal with the truth in the future and in no particular order; fear, need for control, desire for approval, arrogance, insecurity, denial, avoidance of criticism, acceptance, assumptions, uncertainty and change, domino effect, manipulation and yes, many plus. Let me give you a brief description of each one as
You sure have other things to do.
But before I do, a quick real-life example from my past. Many years ago I spent the holidays with the family of a client and a friend. One night we had a conversation and he asked me, “Tim, what do you think of reincarnation?” My answer: “I don’t know much, I just know that I don’t believe in that hokus pokus.” His response: “How can you have such a strong opinion about something you don’t know anything about?” I have never forgotten that conversation and never will.
Fear: fear is the most powerful emotion in life. And when we let others use it with lies or lack of truth, we give them power over us until fear leaves us.
The Hundredth Monkey Effect: This concept says that once an idea, rumor, concept, or invention reaches critical mass, it now quickly spreads as truth, regardless of its validity.
The Need for Control: Many people today will say or do anything that gives them perceived control or power. The problem is that if their actions are not based on the truth, they will eventually fail and they will lose this power or control. Just look at the global dictators over the years that have disappeared.
The need or desire for approval or acceptance: Many people today want to be liked and respected and want friends and connections that “befriend them, like them, support them.”
Let me ask you how many connections you have on Facebook or LinkedIn that you don’t know at all, but call them friends.
Arrogance and Ego: People driven by ego and arrogance will often do or say anything that helps them maintain their reputation (no matter how dishonest), control, or ability to influence others. Just look at many politicians today.
Insecurity: If people feel insecure, they will often say anything to help them manage their insecurity.
Denial: denial is simple: you refuse to accept reality, the truth, or any situation, whatever the circumstance.
Avoidance of criticism – Often times, people will avoid the truth, endorse lies, or simply keep quiet for fear of losing their job, career, relationship, or even their health or safety.
Assumptions: Assumptions are stupid. When someone says something to you and you don’t question it, you give them power over your ideas, actions, beliefs, values, etc.
Uncertainty and change: When life is uncertain or changeable, people fear the future and want the assurance or support that everything will be fine. That is why many people use fear as a technique to control others. If they can keep you in fear mode, they can control you. Lies work and why? Because we let them and we don’t have the courage to challenge them.
The domino effect: The domino effect is like an ocean wave. Ideas, lies, misrepresentations, etc. Continue by the simple rule of resistance.
Manipulation – People often use their version of the truth to keep others in circumstances they can control. Just look at certain countries today that have populations that are under siege and there seems to be nothing they can do to change them except a revolution.
So what current truths do you think are affecting your life or your choices and decisions and how do you define the truth?
