single and waiting
Are you waiting for your Boaz? If you don’t know who Boaz is, he is a character from the Book of Ruth in the Bible. Boaz was a wealthy landowner. He noticed a foreigner named Ruth, took an interest in her, and immediately began to protect her. He found favor with her because of her goodness and her godly qualities. He instructed her male servants not to put her hand on her and treated her like a queen. He knew that she was the woman for him when he first saw her. Today, many Christian women compare his qualities with those of the man they want in a husband; A man who cares, protects and treats them like queens.
Whether you haven’t met him yet or you think you have but are still technically single, you may often find yourself wondering “where is he?”. or “when is he going to ask me to marry him?” Simply based on our feelings of readiness, we put all the blame on him.
I want to make a suggestion that perhaps this man is chosen by God for us and this chosen King will come when the Queen is really and truly ready. Just because we’re tired of the single life, feel like we’re ready to settle down, are in love, or just met the man of our dreams, doesn’t mean we’re ready for the purpose God wants us to fulfill as a couple. for his chosen Boaz. We need to be open and ready to receive this man, emotionally healthy so that we have something to offer. Here are some things to consider as you wait for her husband-to-be to arrive:
#1 Stop blaming him for not being able to satisfy your need to get married just because you feel like you’re ready! Everything happens for a reason and maybe the reason you’re waiting is because you’re not as ready as you think.
#2 Go deep. Take a look at yourself and ask yourself if there is something you can work on to become the best you can be. Is there a childhood problem that haunts you or holds you back? Are there secrets you’ve never discussed that have negatively shaped you into who you are today? Did you pick up a couple of undesirable traits from your parents that you wish you hadn’t? What about past relationships that you still hold resentment or shame about? Now is the time to reflect and face any demons or excess baggage you carry. Try counseling or therapy and prayer to help you talk about it. This won’t be easy, but God is watching and sometimes he won’t let you move on because he needs you to let go of things from your past. These things can get in the way of the role He needs you to play with your husband and your purpose. Your marital stalemate may not be Boaz’s fault at all. Your future husband is going to need a helping partner, not a patient.
#3 Have you ever really listened to the lyrics of the song “Bag Lady” by Erykah Badu? STOP RIGHT NOW and YouTube. It is quite deep and the message is clear. The homeless woman portrayed in the song does not carry physical baggage but emotional baggage. She says: “Bag lady, he will miss his bus, he can’t hurry, because he has too many things”, “one day, he will say that he fills my space”. The lyrics sidestep the fact that carrying too much baggage will slow down life’s progress and set you back from building successful relationships. It can get in the way of a current relationship, creating doubts in her partner that there is enough space for him along with her emotional baggage. Spend this time of waiting, reflecting, and challenging yourself to learn more about yourself and face the tough stuff BEFORE you marry your man.
#4 It doesn’t have to be that deep. If by checking yourself, your findings say you don’t have emotional issues but Boaz isn’t here yet, then he uses the time to check off a few items on the wish list. Get out of your comfort zone and surprise yourself with what you thought you could never do. Experience something new, discover new things.
#5 Last but not least, volunteer! Many times, when you take your focus off what you don’t have and put it on helping others, God will begin to respond to your needs (that’s how I met my husband).
My point is, if you take the focus off him and invest it on yourself, NOTHING but good can come of it. One of three things will happen.
#1 You will be distracted from the waiting period and the next thing you know your Boaz has arrived.
#2 You learn more about yourself; your confidence level skyrockets and you improve your chances of being noticed by the man of your dreams.
#3 After making all these improvements on yourself, you may realize that the guy you were waiting for is not the Boaz you thought he was and that you deserve better. There is definitely nothing wrong with that!
