Quad Multitasking – Gotta Go
What is wrong (or is it right?) in us who believe that we have to be Super Woman, Superior Mom and Superlative Worker? Is it drive and ambition or the blind belief that if we don’t do it all, no one will, so nothing ever gets done? Do you see the redundancy of this award? it’s scary. Maybe if no one does it, it never needed to be done in the first place, and since it never will be done (without you and your vigor), no one will ever know it wasn’t done because apparently it never needed to be done in the first place. .
Multitasking is a way of life, a human condition of living today. With a finite amount of minutes in a day, to keep the “Super” status we love wrapped around our shoulders, we’ve forced ourselves into a burgeoning box of bulging obligations and the overwhelming pressure to accomplish everything imaginable with barely a sign. noticeable from any extreme stress energy. And where does all this supremacy take us? To power and importance, sometimes, to the feeling of well-being, from time to time, to exhaustion and possible despair, quite often.
You may be thinking: “She’s crazy! I can do everything and be everything to everyone. Never despair! There is no time for such a silly emotion.” Burnout maybe, but I cover it up so well!“The strong inner voice is screaming SAVE THE WORLD, but it is the soft murmur of our souls that can give us the best idea of who we are while protecting us from the drive to achieve all things in 29 seconds or less.
I’ll tell you, as an experienced multitasker, doing it all is fun. There are few events more exciting and rewarding for me than starting my morning at 5am. articles and edition of three others. And there are still many hours of the day to unfold and fill with a hundred additional tasks. What a great sense of importance and worth. It makes me feel powerful and omnipotent.
That’s when I realize I had a conference call at 8, right in the middle of my morning rush, and I couldn’t dial. It is true that 62 tasks have been completed in an exemplary manner, but the one of greatest importance, the one that was deep commitment and obligation, was pushed under the rising waves of Super-dom. That’s when despair begins to creep into my mind. Even if it wasn’t a big deal not being able to connect with people on the conference call, it feels like a profound flaw in my ability to multitask. It is at this low point that I can finally recognize that this was not multitasking. It was quad multitasking and that’s a complete package of tasks compressed into a minimum of minutes.
So what is the difference between multitasking and quad multitasking? Unfortunately, multitasking has become an expectation. Women have given us the crown of victory by demanding too much of ourselves. Instead of delegating as needed, we self-assess. With the belief that “No one can do the job like I can”, we have included ourselves in a collection signed, sealed and delivered under the guise of “I can and will do anything”. Somewhere in the middle of this quadruple multitasking fiasco, we need to yell, “Stop! I want to get off!” And we have to be serious. To say enough with the inability to let go, we are only taking ourselves to a more vulnerable state of being, one in which we not only do QMT (Quadruple Multi-Tasking; Quite Mentally Totaled; shaking with many Tiptop actions) but contemplate the possibility of quintupling or deca-doubling (that’s 10X) our juggling of actions and responsibilities.
Some of you are shaking your heads as you read this as you determine that this in no way reflects your behavior. Others, those whose mouths are drooping and the drool drips in semi-delicate drops, recognize the accuracy of these words. The more you do each day it has become a sign of worth and for you, admitting that you cannot do and be everything is a sign of ineptitude and incompetence. Nobody wants to feel any of these, even in the most fleeting moments, so we go ahead with superpowers.
Is there a cure for this disease? The wonderful news is Yes! But it’s not easy, and it will definitely take time and repeated reminders every time you or a trusted friend catches you slipping back into “I can do anything, icity.” As with all addictions, confronting the fact that there is a problem is Step 1 in curing it. Step 2 is realizing that making changes is critical to you and your healthy physical and mental survival. Step 3 comes (surprise) in multiple parts. Step 3 requires you to divide your responsibilities into four sections. An image will help you really tackle this.
Take a sheet of paper, fold it in half and then in quarters and at the top of each section write these labels: Box 1 – Obligations; Box 2 – Oopsligations, Box 3 – Delegations; Box 4 – Deletions. Boxes 1, 3, and 4 are headed by familiar terminology that you now need to examine with fresh eyes. Bonuses are necessary for you. If baking cookies for a social gathering is something you love to do because mixing the dough builds strength, smelling the aroma while the cookies bake builds power, and decorating the cookie box for delivery maximizes your artistic talents, then this is a must. , a responsibility that also multiply the value of you. If, on the other hand, baking the cookies is a test, a responsibility that makes you want to bite the hand that flew into the air to volunteer for the cookie prank, you should relegate this responsibility to another section of the role.
This can make the baked cookie an “Oopsligation”, something you promised to do but are now very unhappy, even unhappy, about doing. Learn from experience that even if you want to do your part, there is absolutely no reason why you should be in cookie detail again. The next time volunteers are sought, sit on their hand, refuse to please, let go of responsibility. This is hard work because, as a QMT, you know that everyone is counting on you and that no one, and I mean no one, can bake peanut butter cookies with the pizzazz you do. But she knows she has to give up some homework, and this is one Sue can do (although it may mean a packaged product rather than a homemade one).
If your Oopsligation occurred as a result of a phone call, saying you can’t may be even more difficult than resting your fingertips under your butt. While some will say that the impersonality of the phone is an automatic release of responsibility, as QMT you know that this is not the case. With a live request, you can see it coming through the behavior, actions, and tone of voice that makes its way to you. On the phone you will most likely be caught by surprise. For this you need to plan ahead. Take a sturdy note card (as you’ll often refer to it). Boldly write: I can’t bake cookies [or any other task] because I already have obligations [no lie, you do]. Call me next time and I’ll try to help you. I realize you wanted to allow yourself to be banned from all cookies forever, but this is not healthy for a QMT. Since she likes helping others, her psyche doesn’t want to be crossed off the cookie list forever, just for now, while she gets stronger to avoid Oopsligations.
Delegation. Cookies can have that role. Your daughter or son (niece, nephew, mother-in-law) loves to bake and as a QMT has always been afraid to give up control of the kitchen. This is your opportunity to not only protect your own health and power, but also to allow others in your life to flourish. Caution: Once you’ve delegated (an extremely complicated and thorny task), stay out of the kitchen. May assist in recipe selection and gathering ingredients and utensils prior to processing. You may offer a limited number of parting words when leaving the kitchen, but you may not, under any circumstances, remain in the room. At arm’s length, the first two bakes are fine, as an oven fire is an ugly event, but after that, you need to move away as you make your way to newfound freedom. The power of this will be manifold as you are released from duty and someone you love gains responsibility and ability.
Finally there are the Eliminations. These items are responsibilities he hates. You can’t continue to find yourself tied to tasks that drain your energy, drain your power, test your talents, and drain your fuel tank. Suppressions are the most difficult of all. It can be compared to a captain abandoning his ship. When you delete, delete, discard and eliminate a responsibility forever. If you know and can admit in your heart that one more cookie request will send you to the brink of sanity and tear you apart into thousands of irreparable crumbs, you need to drop a deliberate and decisive NO as you eliminate the dominance of cookies from your life forever.
Again, a note card can help, especially if as a QMT you don’t want to hurt feelings, even the feelings of archenemies or eternal enemies. Most QMTs have huge, generous hearts where “No” translates to internal collapse and failure. The Delete button is likely to be your toughest opponent, even more so than the person you’re about to turn down from duty. As you write your message on your note card, be sure to include words like never, impossible, unfeasible, no way. You must make it clear that you will in no way be available now or in the future to bake cookies.
With the written note in hand, practice saying it out loud over and over again. As a QMT, I know that turning down someone’s request for help is practically as impossible as it is unlikely that I’ll keep my word. It is much easier to bend over than to stand up straight, sit down and escape from an unwanted and unnecessary duty. That is why I can share with you so freely, realizing my own personal weakness. I will tell you that just writing about rejection is empowering. I am fully aware that if I could remove even one responsibility from my daily list, it would exploit valuable minutes that could then be devoted to other activities that revitalize and maximize my strength.
Remember, you are as great as you want to be if you think so. I don’t think there is a judge who, evaluating your life, realizes that you only baked cookies for the bizarre (oh, what is it in a word! I mean the bazaar!) 919 times instead of the 920 times you were asked . What will be remembered is the joy and personal love that you radiated that you brought to each responsibility, which joy then spread to those with whom you worked.
