Perseverance and Paternity
I recently found myself on YouTube marveling at a video of Hawaiian youth soccer prodigy KJ Ahlo’s morning ride. In the opening frame, you see him sleeping with a dozen footballs. The first thing he does when he wakes up is kick one of them. As he walks to his bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for the day, he kicks another of the many soccer balls scattered on the floor.
We can learn a lot as parents from that little clip. We may not know what KJ is thinking, but we can see that he keeps his mind on football. And if you keep watching the video or venture into any of the YouTube clips of KJ playing with children twice his size and age, you can see that it’s worth it. You can’t help but think: “how does he do that?”
Our path to being the best parent we can be is the same: the more we focus on being there for our children, the more we will become the parent we envision for our children. When we surround ourselves with inspiring images or thoughts about fatherhood, they will see into our minds and bodies until one day we look in the mirror and see a great father.
As an athlete, there is something we already have that we can build on. It may be the ability to teach our child something, a commitment to care that goes beyond traditional models, or the ability to be patient and kind in difficult circumstances. Whatever it is, we can constantly nurture it by going to bed with it, waking up with it, and walking through our day with it. When we do that, we find that we are not so much building ourselves up to be a loving parent as we are breaking down all resistance to unleash the loving parent that already exists within us. Like KJ, we keep doing it until people look at what we do with our kids and ask, “how do you do that?”
Right now, take a pen and write three things about yourself that you would put on a list of characteristics of a great father. He can even turn them into statements, like, “I recognize the importance of getting along with my spouse” or “I love my daughter even when she’s having a tantrum.” Then put them somewhere where you can see them at least 4-5 times a day. I like to enlarge them and tape them to the ceiling right above where I sleep. I guarantee you will see a shift in your awareness of how these traits have a positive impact on your relationship with your son or daughter.
PS Don’t forget to check out KJ’s morning routine:
