No hard feelings, no harm
In the dependent phase of life, most of a child’s interactions are performed by parents or guardians. Also, children are likely to speak based on their instincts, which can sometimes be forceful. But as time passes, interactions, planned or not, without adult intervention become inevitable. The perception that the person has of the public and of society is also rectified. Consequently, different communication personalities evolve during collective interactions, namely Submissive, Passive, Assertive, Aggressive and Oppressive. An individual can choose any pattern of life to live. It is not entirely correct to assign a single absolute personality to a particular person, since the individual may reflect one of the profiles in one situation and another profile or personality in the other. Therefore, these traits or life patterns are not absolute, but relative, however, it is the general character trait of an individual that predicts the prospective possibilities of it.
Let’s start with the two main extremes; submission and oppression. A person inclined or ready to submit or yield to the authority of another, without resistance and with meekness, is submissive. A submissive behavior will correspond to the wishes and projections of others. Without the expression of any contradicting thoughts or unwillingness, the submissive person will simply comply. Such an individual does not normally listen to reason, he or she forgets about the intellect or chooses to ignore it. It is similar to wearing a leash around your neck and giving the other end of the leash to anyone who grabs it. The main emotional traits of these people are fear, anxiety and doubt.
A person who is exploitative and overbearing during the various interactions of life is oppressive. A dictator or pseudo-leader usually embraces oppression. Figuratively speaking, oppressive behavior likes to demand that everyone in sight kneel and submit. Hearing no word of opposition, the oppressive person wants others to accept his methodologies, however wrong they may be. Examples of oppressive personalities can also be found on a smaller level. Your arrogant boss can be oppressive from time to time, for example. The main traits of such people are pride, hatred and excessive self-sufficiency.
Imagine for a moment that you are being asked to do something you don’t want to do or don’t have the time or ability to do. The atmosphere of that moment is also critical and you have to make a decision immediately. Considering the persuasion of the other end and his own incompetence to refuse, he accepts the invitation against his better judgment. Classifying such reticence as submission may seem a bit misleading. This is where we introduce passivity: a kissing cousin to submission, but less extreme. Passive behavior is shyness or an inability to express true opinions. This implies when one does not abandon the intellect but the individual’s actions conflict with his thoughts and desires. Submission is when one is completely overwhelmed by the argument due to his delight/authority and decides to give in. Passivity is naive or inactive behavior, while submission is weak or vulnerable behavior.
Where hesitating to express yourself may seem unwise, chewing up bidders out of anger is also not highly recommended. Speaking of the example above, it makes perfect sense if you decline the request, but how you do it counts. A person who intrudes his ego into various life events and manifests an aggressive or violent reaction where it is not necessary for him to be aggressive. An aggressive approach can be seen as a moderate version of the oppressive approach. Such behavior is often prone to attracting stress in personal life and radiating an impression of scandalous personality. In one of her words full of wisdom, Rumi states: “Raise your words, not your voice. It is the rain that makes the flowers grow, not the thunder.” The prominent emotional characteristics of aggressive personalities are selfishness, anger, and cynicism.
In life, intermediate behavior is required to counter various undesirable states of affairs. A behavior that guides the person to listen to reason and conscience, resist even the slightest whims of submission, express and convince true opinions and radiate a respectable impression. The key to this moderate approach is, as you may have guessed, assertiveness. A person who is bold in devising plans at the right time and whose decisions, rather than being directed by others, are conscious and based on reason is assertive. Normally, an assertive behavior manages to achieve the proposed objectives without confronting or belittling anyone. Jim Rohn, American businessman, author, and motivational speaker, obverse: “The only healthy communication style is assertive communication.”
In a nutshell, submissive behavior is usually driven by desire or frailty, passive behavior is driven by laziness or shyness, aggressive behavior is ego-driven, oppressive behavior is vanity-driven, and finally , assertive behavior is driven by the intellect. driven.
