Giving is human, receiving… Divine!
“Let the person I serve express their thanks according to their own education and sense of humor.”
–Charles A. Eastman (Ohiyesa), SANTEE SIOUX
This intriguing quote landed in my inbox the other day and brought up some interesting thoughts… we all know we’re supposed to give with no strings attached and no thanks. And yet, it is human nature to want or even need thanks and recognition. So how do you deal with giving and your feelings when you don’t get the response you expected or wanted? Are you angry? Hurt? Grumpy?
Of course, it is natural to react in any of these ways. But these negative emotions are traps to alert us to the fact that we have problems that need to be addressed, that we need to let go of our expectations and learn to give for the sake of what it does for us, not for what it does. for the other person.
An even better alternative is to put yourself in their shoes, with their problems and their pride. How might you respond to needing or receiving help? How would you feel if you had to ask, and how would that influence your response? Many times, receiving help hurts much more than being in the situation that forces us to ask for it because our culture is based on the concepts of self-sufficiency and individual strength, and because accepting help is often associated with failure, laziness or inferiority. How can you use this knowledge to improve the process of giving, to make those you serve feel better about their situation as recipients?
Here’s a thought: In Buddhist areas of the world, local monks often beg for the food they eat, not because they can’t afford it, but because they know that begging (receiving help) allows those they give a chance to improve their karma and work on the life lessons they need to master in order to move forward on the wheel of life. They ask for service to those around them (as well as for their own lessons in humility and sacrifice). The next time you give help in any way, why not thank the recipient for giving you the opportunity to learn compassion and practice humility and generosity? Let them know that your position as a receiver is just as valuable as the giver, if not more, as it is by far the most difficult position to be in. Or, if you’re donating anonymously, consider leaving an unsigned note to that effect.
Those who receive your help are giving you a wonderful gift from the soul, but they are rarely aware of their own generosity. Make sure you fully honor their gift when you present yours.
