Four tips for dealing with transitions
For many school-age children, spring break is just around the corner. It is hard to imagine that three months of the New Year have already passed. Before we know it, summer vacation will be upon us and we may be faced with children experiencing anxiety about the transition from the structure and predictability of the school year to the less structured format of summer vacation.
Let’s Meet Ryan: Ryan is five years old. For the past year, he has been attending kindergarten. With first grade just around the corner, his teacher and his parents have been talking about changes to his school day next year. “You’ll be in a different school, Ryan,” Mom tells him sweetly one night as she tucks him in, “you’re growing up!” Ryan knows that his new school is a bus ride from his house. Now his mom won’t take him.
The next morning, Ryan wakes up and complains that he doesn’t feel well. His mother allows him to stay at home. Every day for an entire week, Ryan claims not to feel well. When he finally returns to school, he starts having accidents, wetting his pants, a behavior he had long outgrown. His need to be pampered by the teacher increases to the point of disturbing the rest of the class.
Concerned that Ryan’s behavior is indicative of an underlying problem, they refer him to a counselor. During their session, it is discovered that Ryan is worried about the changes in his routine. His afternoons may not always be spent with his mother and his little brother playing in the park. Ryan really likes being with his little brother and he is proud of the things he helped Matthew learn. He worries that his brother will forget who he is if he is at school farther from home and that Matthew will not be able to learn to walk and talk if he is not around to show her what to do. Ryan felt that if he kept acting like a little kid, he wouldn’t have to go to first grade next year and his routine would stay the same.
The teacher and family created a plan to help Ryan assume his new role at school and at home. His new school had a program where the kindergartners would spend time in the first grade class for an entire week. The week ended with both classes spending the entire day together.
By the end of the week, Ryan began to feel less anxious about the transition to first grade. The day he spent all day at his new school, Ryan came home to be greeted by his brother, who hadn’t forgotten who he was. .
As his mother tucked him in that night, Ryan told his mother, “I’m really looking forward to first grade next year and learning more things that I can teach Matthew.”
Some of the following may increase your knowledge about transition:
1. Be aware of your child’s emotional/behavioral changes.
2. Always validate your child’s feelings.
3. Support your child in his strengths.
4. Keep yourself in check.
Remember: you are the expert when it comes to your family and your child. If you have a concern, trust your gut and find someone trained to help you.
