dog afternoon
Here it comes again as I write this story. He will run to see me write on the computer. This doesn’t happen all the time, only when she wants something from me. She will stand by my office door, she will look at me and then look away. If I turn towards her, she comes towards me and rubs against me. She’ll lean into me and then put her head in my lap and look at me with those big brown eyes, daring me to guess what she wants. Is it food, water, outside, attention?
This time she wants nothing more than a little love and attention. She’s not always all about the attention, but still, if someone walks into my office, she’ll walk in and be jealous. I don’t know why she acts so jealous, there is no one like her in my life, literally. I love her attention as much as she needs mine.
There was a time when I thought I couldn’t replace my last furry friend when he tragically died. In fact, I had him put down, but it was an act of love. He hurt his knee and, although he could still move, he knew he was suffering too long. Sure, he still wanted to be with me and go with me wherever I went. He had a hard time keeping up with me, although in the end that wasn’t the biggest problem.
One day he lost the use of another leg, I knew it was time. I called the vet and asked if he could bring him in to end his suffering. I drove to the vet, paid the fee, and came home with a stretcher for my dog’s last trip. My wife and I had a hard time getting him onto the gurney, but I think at times like these, you just think about what you have to do. After my dog was euthanized, I don’t remember much other than crying harder than some people who have died.
Maybe we grieve for our pets because they depend on us more than most people and almost everything we do impacts their lives and deaths. We wonder if we did the right thing when it feels like that moment. I still miss him sometimes.
Now I have this dog that makes me laugh, gets excited when she sees me and runs in circles, stops for a moment and leans into me like she’s never been petted before.
Here she comes now looking for attention. I nuzzle her and she turns around so he can touch her whole body, especially her rear end, she likes scratching more than anything. As she walks away from her, I see that I’ve been writing too long, the sun is setting. I have to go now and take my best friend for a walk before the day is over.
