Appearance-obsession in the workplace
When you deliberately think ‘Dress for Success’ and keep up with fashion and styles, you are not obsessed with appearance, at least not yet.
Particular women and men who are obsessed with appearance worry daily about their appearance both in their private lives and at the workplace. Huge amounts of resources are dedicated to achieving compliance with changing innovations in fashion, beauty and cosmetics.
What are the signs of appearance obsession in the workplace?
This is a list of questions I was asked by Holly, a young executive who admits that she spends much of her workday questioning and obsessing over her appearance and the reaction of others to her appearance.
How do I look in the clothes I’m wearing now?
How do I look from behind? From the side?
Do these clothes make me look fat?
What do other women look like today?
What do they wear to work?
Who looks ‘hot’ at today’s meeting?
How many in the office have noticed me today?
Should I go home and change at lunch?
What cosmetic procedure can correct some imperfections?
Who are the cosmetic surgeons to the stars?
These questions and many more reduce Holly’s ability to focus on her projects and deal with her subordinates, not to mention meeting deadlines…
When Holly looks back on her job performance last year, she feels shame, self-respect, and pride. Holly was fired from a prestigious position. She couldn’t focus, meet or meet deadlines. Holly became one of my executive coaching clients right after her recent job loss.
What is hapening here?
The obsession with perfection, beauty and appearance has been growing rapidly in this culture. This obsession is fueled by TV shows like Extreme Makeover and other shows that “educate” the public on how easy it is to create the perfect look. Some women who were more sensitive to their appearance than others become more obsessed as our culture is exposed to mega doses of cosmetics and plastic surgery possibilities.
The problem of the new workplace
Considering the pervasiveness of this new obsession; What is the probability that a young worker will be comfortable with her own appearance in a new workplace? Or even a veteran woman who is now in a new role? Growing up in our culture, women today are trapped, thinking that their presence is about attractiveness, beauty, and the size of their body parts.
Coworkers and workplace culture play a big role in how women react to their own bodies and specifically their appearance in spite of themselves. Some women in this culture easily fall into a “man-made” trap. The need for perfection in body size and shape, coupled with changing fashions and looks that are “in” or “out,” creates pressures on women in the workplace that need to be addressed.
There are health and psychological consequences to the new phenomenon; using our bodies to express fashion/beauty trends seems to induce a new emotion in the general population: shame. That is not shame for behaviors or acts, but shame for our natural, healthy bodies and the normal aging process. The obsessions may develop as an attempt to deal with shame and/or as an effort to cover up the disturbing feeling. To make one’s appearance the center of one’s being is to exceed the limits of what is beneficial for the workplace and for the mental health of its members.
In my experience, poor body image and appearance obsession are issues that will respond well and be helped by coaching and, if necessary, psychotherapy.
