emotional text messages

emotional text messages – When to share and when to hang up

Sharing your anxiety or frustrations these days is as easy as taking your phone out of your pocket. When your unreasonable boss or a demanding family member is stressing you out, the temptation to share your annoyance with your spouse or partner is almost irresistible.

While there are benefits to being able to contact loved ones at the touch of a finger, sharing every little thought and emotion of the day can put unnecessary stress on a relationship. You can text without thinking, without considering what your spouse might be experiencing on the other end. Perhaps you feel frustrated when your messages receive radio silence or a seemingly unsympathetic response. And suddenly, your frustration with others has been channeled into the relationship you cherish the most.

Are you an emotional texting perpetrator? Do you feel like your cell phone is getting in the way of a healthy relationship? Here are three simple questions to ask yourself before you text your partner.

1. Will I feel the same in an hour?

When we experience emotional reactivity to a situation, it is difficult to be thoughtful. What might seem like the end of the world is usually a momentary setback, but a text can never be undone once it’s sent out into the world. If you’re wondering if that anger will be that urgent in sixty minutes and the answer is no, then it’s probably not worth the text.

2. Does this require a face-to-face conversation?

Another problem with text messages is that it’s easy for those receiving a message to misunderstand what it means. You also have no way of gauging your spouse’s emotional state when you can’t see them face to face. If the gravity of the emotion outweighs the immediacy of the situation, then your relationship would benefit from waiting for a conversation in person. Too often, people use technology to avoid the open and honest contact that is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

3. Am I asking someone to do something that I can do myself?

Because our cell phones make it incredibly simple to reach out to others for support and empathy, we often forget that as individuals, we are also capable of taking responsibility for our own distress and reactions. Emotional support is key in any relationship, but trusting your spouse to take responsibility for every reaction you have in everyday life isn’t fair. So the next time you want to reach for the phone, consider whether you might be able to provide your own calm and comfort.

Asking yourself these three questions can keep your itchy fingers from making rash decisions when it comes to your relationship. While a text may be the quickest fix for your stress, it’s often never the most thoughtful for your relationship. All it takes is a few seconds of good thinking to assess when and how you should lean on your partner, and when you can stand up and lean on yourself.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *