To help! I am a godfather from a distance. I felt the same panic when I was recently asked to sponsor the first child of two of my dearest friends. Since I was entrusted with the spiritual nourishment of his precious package. He had to see how he measured up. My biggest flaw was that I lived too far away.
The family resides in the Caribbean and I am in Central America. True, not far. However, I am not in the same country and it will still be a long distance issue. As in any relationship, distance can have a negative impact.
Ever since I was asked, I’ve been thinking a lot about my role. Also, I am used to wearing the other shoe, giving advice to parents on this issue. Therefore, I decided to revisit and listen to my own advice. I think it’s wise to take my own advice before all my older and new godchildren decide to get rid of me.
Being a godmother or godfather is much more serious than many people think. I might be stating the obvious to some of you. The fact is, however, that too many people (including some parents) tend to view this responsibility as a position of status and prestige, not realizing that a great deal of responsibility has been placed in their hands. So I made a list and share it with you.
6 Useful Tips for God Parenting Long Distance
Attend the First Ceremony – No matter how far away you live. You must be present at this first Baptism or Dedication ceremony. Some churches make it mandatory. My sister and colleague is Moravian and my presence is mandatory. I guess I won’t miss this ceremony!
Make a picture of one or more children of God: I have 6! I heard about this excellent idea and thought it was very practical. Keep your graphic in a prominent place. It can be a small one in your journal or a large one hanging on a wall in your bedroom or office. Use this chart to also fuel your prayers for your godchild.
List their names, birthdays, date of baptism or dedication, other initiation rites such as the first day of school, etc. In this regard, you will need the help of parents to send you informative updates and photos.
Pray regularly: keep your godchild(ren) on your prayer list and pray for them. Your role as sponsor is to offer spiritual nourishment. It is not to buy expensive gifts unlike what popular culture would have you think.
Maintain contact and communication: Even before the child can speak, ask the parents to put him on the phone to accuse them of hearing his voice. Trust me, your godson will recognize you by your voice the first time he physically meets you. Write and send cards on Baptism/Dedication anniversary, birthdays, graduations and just to say, I’m thinking of you.
Children today seem to be born knowing how to use a computer. They are more advanced than us. If you’re reading this online, then maybe it’s not too old. Stay in touch over the Internet by using email and instant messaging. This can become a useful means of contact and your godchild knows that he has someone to talk to besides his parents.
Spend time together: When possible, spend time with your godchild’s family or invite the child to visit. This could include summer vacations or other school breaks and the use of your vacation time.
Offer spiritual care and gifts: Too often, parents seek out godparents not because of the spiritual care they can provide, but because of their ability to purchase expensive gifts for their children. Those parents have missed the point of this religious role. When properly understood, god-parents should appreciate their role primarily as a support in the spiritual education and upbringing of children.
Even when you’re away, you can still give meaningful gifts that will help affirm your godchild’s spiritual care and education. So it makes sense that his gifts are mostly religious in nature. This is not an easy choice when competing with violent video games, dolls that scream commodified versions of beauty, and other useless and psychologically damaging toys.
So, I hear the question that all godparents must be asking right now. Where the heck do I get these ‘spiritual nurturing gifts’ that aren’t boring? Listen, that’s a whole new story. I’m still looking, so keep an eye out for my suggestions.
Happy godfather with renewed commitment!